Star Trek: Starfleet Academy 1×07 review: “Ko’Zeine”

After the last dramatic outing, Starfleet Academy gives us another lower-stakes episode with a queer homage to “Amok Time.” Also, Genesis is getting moved to the command track…maybe.

I suppose the ostensible A-plot of this episode is Caleb and Genesis hanging out at Starfleet Academy while everyone else is on spring break. Caleb is still more or less our main character, and we’re forced to see that sex scene with Tarima again while he drafts pining letters to her. (I think they’re the cutest couple, but I also just don’t find them very interesting.)

Obviously, Caleb doesn’t have a family to stay with during vacations. He refuses Nahla’s attempts to send him off to a host family, instead sunbathing near-naked in the atrium.

To be clear: Caleb sunbathing near-naked in the atrium is a public service. If I had this actor’s body, I would simply never wear clothes. Not once. I would walk around flexing on everybody, all the time, until the day one large dinner of carbohydrates returned me to a less-premium human physique.

Shirtless, pining Caleb isn’t the A-plot so much as a palatable garnish. Instead, we’re following Genesis’s emotional arc. Nahla wants to send her to the command track because she’s been performing so well. However, this means passing Genesis’s application upwards for more scrutiny, and Genesis fears what people will think of her references.

So Genesis and Caleb break onto the bridge for fun, Genesis uses the captain’s chair to get into records, and of course, they both get caught. This is all very charming to watch because the actors are charming and have nice chemistry… but whatever.

The rest of the episode is really all I care about (with love to Genesis and Caleb).

Jay-Den is scheduled to spend spring break in Ibiza with Kyle, his new boyfriend. Their relationship isn’t actually given this label, to be clear–but the two have been drifting close these past episodes, touching and dancing and having drinks. I can’t read their vacation plans as anything but a couple’s trip.

Darem is not thrilled about this. Darem has been finding every opportunity to pout about Kay-Den’s relationship with Kyle, and learning they’re going off to enjoy sex on the beach (probably) sets his phasers to pining.

When Darem gets abducted, Jay-Den follows him instead. This takes us into a plot reminiscent of “Amok Time,” when Kirk fought valiantly to save Spock from dying to pon farr, except that Darem is “only” dealing with an arranged marriage. There’s no biological component, which certainly brings down the stakes. And you know what I keep saying: I love low-stakes Trek. This is fine with me.

Jay-Den’s arrival makes him the de facto best man for Darem’s wedding. Technically, he’s the Ko’Zeine (ergo the episode’s title). This is a problem for everyone involved. Darem’s not sure about getting married, and seeing the Klingon he’s transparently crushing on has him even less certain. Also, Kay-Den looks like he’s in physical pain over this.

(On a really petty note, I have to say that the desert fish planet is my least favorite use of The Volume so far in Starfleet Academy. It looks terrible, and we can have terrible sets that are a lot cheaper. Give me plywood and foam or give me death.)

Every conversation between Jay-Den and Darem is so intense, I spend the whole time chanting “KISS KISS KISS.” I don’t know how they HAVEN’T already. I can only imagine this is building up to the biggest, most passionate clutch in Trek history. I’m imagining it real hard.

Jay-Den gets cold and Darem puts his wedding jacket on him. Did you hear me screaming? I think the International Space Station heard me screaming.

I will say that Darem’s intended wife is gorgeous and sweet. She clearly loves Darem–and the feeling is mutual. Is it romantic? Probably not. But I can imagine they’ve been wonderful friends their entire lives and would make a wonderful married couple, too. Getting married wouldn’t be a tragedy.

Yet Darem’s partner is the one who calls off the wedding! Jay-Den gives such a good, impassioned best man speech about Darem that she realizes she doesn’t know Darem at all. At least, not as well as Jay-Den does. And Darem needs to go back to the Academy with his boyfriend to be happy.

Writing this out, it doesn’t sound as exciting as I felt watching it. The chemistry these actors have is off the charts. If you like mutual pining, they are a bonanza.

I appreciate the callback to “Amok Time” here. Jay-Den and Darem have more explicit romantic overtones than Kirk and Spock were allowed; by breaking up Darem’s marriage as a matter of his growing gay love, this sort of encourages us to retroactively regard “Amok Time” as doing the same thing. (Which we did anyway. But I digress…)

Seeing this unfold means the world to me. I don’t even care who ends up together. I just love squealing over this precious gay pacifist Klingon wearing a skant and all the jocks who want him. Can you believe that sentence is an authentic representation of anything Star Trek? Be still, my heart.

Starfleet Academy airs on Paramount+.

Author: SM Reine

Half-Tellarite SM Reine is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of fantasy. She’s been publishing since 2011 and a nerd since forever.

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