The Walking Dead Review 8×11: Dead or Alive Or

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, or both. ‘Dead or Alive Or’ treads a dangerous line between a nightmarish swamp and a 70s zipper-suit monster flick. Despite its intentions to round out and answer some of our hanging questions, the episode isn’t dead or alive or anything at all.

I spent a good chunk of this episode wondering how I could stretch it into an article. Spite and salt, however, keep me going. Spite, and salt, and lots of snarky comments. ‘Dead or Alive or Total Garbage’ would have been a better title, I think.

One good thing about the episode? Thankfully Jesus (the character) is mysteriously missing because there was PLENTY of Jesus the deity in this episode. When I thought that Father Gabriel had begun his road to growing a pair, he backslid tremendously. His faith is infuriating. I understand that he is clinging to what he can right now but instead of true faith, but it’s hokey and awkward. The characters who possessed the pure faith (Beth, Denise, to name a few) died fairly early. Now we’re left with Father Hell No and Dr. C roadtripping cross country and apparently neither of them can read a map despite DR. CARSON BEING A FRIGGIN DOCTOR.

With Gabriel’s arc, I wanted to pitch him off a cliff into alligator infested waters. The amount of Deus Ex Machina sprinkled throughout the episode–I mean, COME ON. How is it that you’ll conveniently come across an abandoned cabin with a stash of antibiotics, a car, and a set of keys? Bravo to Gabe shooting the walker on top of Carson while everyone was tangled in bear traps. He rescued Dr. Carson only for Carson to be shot immediately afterwards. Whoops.

They say that poison is a woman’s weapon. I suppose walker-blood-tipped-barb-wire is a zombie despot’s? I know that this biological warfare exists in the comics and now it appears to be coming full circle. Finally they’re doing something from the comic and following it.

I don’t have ANY good things to say about this episode aside from the aforementioned. I tried, like I have tried with all the others, to give it a chance. I went in, after last week’s episode, to think there might be a single, last bid to get the show on track but at this point, the showrunners are savagely beating a dead horse and making us all watch as The Walking Dead faces a long, painful death.

The Eugene subplot has me rolling my eyes. I won’t even bother dignifying the Tara attempting to shoot Dwight and the subsequent chase through the forest. Dwight RANDOMLY GIVES HIMSELF UP TO THE SAVIORS. There are swamp zombies, affectionately referred to as swombies.

Despite the boring swamp zombies, the ending scene with Enid collapsing on the ground after learning Carl didn’t make it made tears well up in my eyes.

I find it a little heavy handed to introduce one character just to take the place of another soon to be dead character. Dr. Carson died? No problem, we just happen to have a spare doctor laying around! Despite the fact that he was a fisherman in the comics. Nobody will notice. Good job, producers, treat yourselves to a drink? But your ratings are abysmal so maybe HIRE BETTER WRITERS and STOP GIVING GREG NICOTERO THE DIRECTING SPOTS.

On March 26 at 8 EST, The Bitching Dead will have a guest on the webcast and we look forward to bitching about stuff and things with a new face.

Author: Bekah

Bekah has a B.F.A. in Theatre Performance from Anderson University and is the Executive Assistant at Saga Event Planning. She is a frequent convention attendee and cosplayer and co-hosts The Geekiary webcast “The Bitching Dead”.

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