Trying to Make Sense of Terry Crews Tweeting About Same-Sex Parents Having Emotionally Malnourished Kids? (Updated!)
Update March 5, 2019: Terry Crews has issued an apology. The original article, as well as his apology tweets, follow.
Y’all, Brooklyn Nine-Nine actor Terry Crews has been getting a lot of backlash for a number of tweets he shared about parenting and what kind of kids it can give rise to. While I can try to make sense of what his intent was, I’m disappointed by his tweets.
We are all fans of Terry Crews and the work he has done to fight toxic masculinity. However, seeing his tweets made it clear that at the end of the day Terry Crews is a straight man who has a very (if not all) heteronormative outlook on life.
The way he worded his tweets did come across as painting same-sex and single parents not being capable of giving their kids the love children need from traditional fathers and mothers. Sigh!
Also, this isn’t the first time he has talked about this.
I mean, I can get where Crews is coming from. For him, kids need strong and supportive motherly and fatherly figures in their lives whether it is aunts and uncles, grandparents, teachers, parents of close friends, and such.
However, the way he worded his tweet and how he said not getting such motherly and fatherly support will lead to children being malnourished isn’t good.
Terry Crews is clearly speaking from his experiences. He has talked about looking at others as mother and father figures in his life to find a sense of security, support, etc.
And you know what? That is very understandable. There are many people out there who have done the same. Some of them need it. Some don’t. You can’t (and shouldn’t) paint everyone with the same brush.
The current issue began with an article in the New York Times about raising boys into successful young men.
This led to Crews talking about his stance on how fathers are as necessary as mothers, especially for young men. For him, if young men don’t have a father around, they need to have an example of what is meant by being good men.
Then the entire “malnourished” thing came in.
Again, I think Crews is talking about kids needing father and mother figures in their lives because according to him, both can teach children different things. That is his truth. And he is free to have it, consequences and all.
On the other side, same-sex and single parents already have numerous other societal pressures to face. They don’t want a well-known celebrity talking about how their children will likely grow up malnourished. So, that’s understandable, too.
As I said, some need it and some don’t. And for those who need it, we should be accepting of their feelings and where they are coming from.
While I’m disappointed he decided to word his initial tweet in such a manner, I don’t think his intent was to harm or hurt same-sex or single parents (including the LGBTQIA+ community).
Update March 5, 2019: It seems Crews having a conversation with Brooklyn 99 co-star Stephanie Beatriz (a member of the LGBTQ+ community) has helped him understand why people were hurt by his tweets.
I’m glad Crews was able to learn from this. As I said in this article, I got he was talking about his experience, but yes, better words could have been used in his intial tweets.
What do you think? Let us know.
Farid has a Double Masters in Psychology and Biotechnology as well as an M.Phil in Molecular Genetics. He is the author of numerous books including Missing in Somerville, and The Game Master of Somerville. He gives us insight into comics, books, TV shows, anime/manga, video games, and movies.
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4 thoughts on “Trying to Make Sense of Terry Crews Tweeting About Same-Sex Parents Having Emotionally Malnourished Kids? (Updated!)”
I’m disappointed that as aware of some things as he seems to be he doesn’t see a problem with this.
I still like Terry Crews. Every person has their faults and while this is hurtful I think he’s overall a good person. I just hope he grows a little more and realizes why people are upset about this.
Going over some of his more recent tweets I do think he understands why people were upset about it. So, yay, progress.
I think he’s trying to say kids need good male and female role models, which is certainly a defensible position. And if anyone has earned the benefit of the doubt, it’s Crews. But wow, is this an awkward, condescending way of making his point.
At the very least, this is a good reminder that people are complex and we never know celebrities as well as we think we do. We have a tendency to reduce people, ideas, things to a single trait. Which makes sense. Cognitive ease is a powerful psychological tool. But pedestaling any celebrity (or any person, really) is dangerous.
Support people, respect people, call people out when they mess up. Just never forget that they’re flawed just like the rest of us. Whether you can accept those flaws is an individual choice.
I agree. I think I can see what he’s trying to say, but he’s saying it very poorly. And I don’t want to “cancel” him. This hurts so much though I can’t lie and say my view of him isn’t affected right now. But it’s complex and I hope he steps back and listens a bit.
This whole situation sucks. He’s one of the good ones.
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