The Heart Killers 1×11 Review: Episode 11

I think this is the worst episode 11 to ever episode 11. This is supposed to be a romcom, right? It sure doesn’t feel like it right now.

Keen makes good on his word to help them get information on Lilly. It may have something to do with them holding his boyfriend hostage, but still. He even goes in all cloak and dagger, even though as Lilly’s seeming right-hand man, he probably could have gone in as normal and not raised any red flags. Also, many apologies to Keen, for hating him this entire series, because he does come through in the end. Sure, he tried to kill Style, but who hasn’t?

Kant and Style somehow manage to talk Bison and Fadel out of killing Lilly, with Kant promising to negotiate with Captain Christ. Armed with the intel from Keen – and also Ruerat, who apparently did not die in last week’s episode – Kant and Style go to Christ and barter in exchange for Bison and Fadel’s freedom. To be fair, Christ does not promise this, only says he’ll see what he can do. (Never trust a cop.)

Style, showing remarkable foresight for once, absolutely does not trust the cop, and works on getting Fadel and Bison fake IDs. He’s already coming up with plans to get them out of the country. Good on him. Kant, on the other hand, spots Christ doing something blackmail-able and gets proof, in order to better blackmail him later. I really appreciate that nobody trusts anyone on this show. It’s one of the most believable aspects.

Something that I still can’t believe, however, is that Lilly had no idea who Kant or Style were. She really was just having Keen handle everything, apparently. It isn’t until they’re at the congressman’s (I think) wife’s birthday, and Kant is playing a video of her literally killing a man, that Lilly realizes he’s not who he says he is. You’d think she’d have a better bs meter, as someone who used to be an assassin.

I’m still not sure why they drug her? I mean, yes, she gets sick and runs to the bathroom, and that’s where they ambush her, but it looks like she would have done that anyway. But it completes the drugging trifecta, and now everyone on this show has drugged someone. And Kant is the only person who is any good at it, which raises a lot of questions that of course aren’t going to get answers, because that’s not important.

Once again Kant and Style have to talk Bison and Fadel out of killing Lilly. (How long were they just chilling in the ladies room, waiting for her?) It’s hard to blame them, after everything. After all, she killed their parents, “adopted” them, brainwashed them, and raised them to be killers to carry out her dirty work. But thanks to the power of love, Bison and Fadel spare her life.

Of course, none of that matters, because you can never trust a cop. As Bison and Fadel are trying to flee, in what looks like Kant’s car and with their fake passports, Christ comes to arrest them. He points out that as they’ve killed people, it would be impossible to get them off scot-free. (That may be true, but you’re overlooking the fact that I love them, and they’re babygirl-ified, and how are you supposed to punish someone who looks as adorable as Bison? Literally impossible.) The best he can do is a shorter sentence of only five years.

Kant tries to further negotiate, insisting that he won’t accept anything less than their freedom, and oh, by the way, he has blackmail material on Christ that will affect his chance at a promotion. Bison and Fadel, however, engage in some silent communication and agree to take the deal. Bison explains to Kant that he’s tired, and just wants a normal life; if he goes on the run, he’ll always be running, and that’s hardly a life.

(Two things here. One: all they’d have to do is find a country that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with Thailand. Surely that’s a thing that exists. Then they just go there and set up shop with the fake passports. Never coming back to Thailand wouldn’t be a big deal to them, as they have no family. But of course, Kant and Style do still have family, and they would never leave them behind.

Two: The Heart Killers envisions a much fairer society than I do. My first thought, when Kant threatened Christ that he knew he’d bribed a school official to admit his son was, “That’s it?” That happens all the time. I mean, all you have to do is give the school a “very generous donation” and suddenly your kid is accepted. Also, if he’s as good at sports as Christ claims, there were probably schools recruiting him. Anyway, I guess I just find it very hard to believe that anyone would care about bribing someone to get your kid into a school. Especially if he’s a cop.)

Kant asks for Christ to give them one last day together. Christ, being a secret romantic, agrees. (I’m sure Kant promising to delete his blackmail video has nothing to do with it. Christ is just very devoted to making sure the gays get a proper goodbye.) And both couples get 24 hours to say goodbye.

Both days seem very unique and specific to the pairs. Kant and Bison have a good meal, hang out at a science museum, and give each other tattoos. (Kant’s, “The story of me and you will be tattooed on my skin forever,” may be the best line I’ve ever heard.) Style and Fadel play paintball, hang out at the grave Fadel dug for himself, and make burgers together at the restaurant. (The fact that after sleeping with Style, Fadel went out and dug his own grave is just the most overdramatic nonsense I’ve ever heard. Never change, Fadel.)

But also there is a lot of introspection. Kant and Bison both share details of what they wanted to be when they were kids (Kant wanted to be an archaeologist, Bison an astronaut). Fadel explains to Style why he’s such a drama queen that he went out in the middle of the night and dug his own grave. (Basically, he knows that his life is dangerous, and he’ll likely die alone, and this way his grave is already taken care of.)

We also get two sort of proposals. Kant tells Bison the story of how his parents got engaged, and that he wants to take Bison to the same place where it happened. Bison jokily asks if Kant intends to propose there. Meanwhile, Style’s dad suggests to Fadel and Style that they should get married (now that it’s legal) before he dies. Fadel asks that he give him five years to save up money.

And the entire time, both Style and Kant have to repeatedly reassure their boyfriends that they are absolutely fine with waiting for them to get out of prison, even as both Fadel and Bison seem determined to get them to agree to move on if they want. I think it’s admirable that Bison and Fadel have spent this long with these two and haven’t realized they’re completely crazy. If they didn’t leave when they found out they were hitmen, a little thing like prison wouldn’t scare them off.

I will admit to being surprised that they actually end up in prison. I mean, Christ was right that it was the obvious ending, but I still spent the entire episode sure that there would be some last-minute thing that would save them. Or that they’d change their mind and go on the run. And I feel like, in any other story like this, they wouldn’t have gone to prison. But this is The Heart Killers, and it’s actually going to do the obvious thing.

With only one more episode to go, I’m curious as to how this is going to work. Do we get a timeskip? I hate timeskips, but short of them getting broken out of prison, I’m not sure how else this will end. Only one more week to find out!

Author: Jamie Sugah

Jamie has a BA in English with a focus in creative writing from The Ohio State University. She self-published her first novel, The Perils of Long Hair on a Windy Day, which is available through Amazon. She is currently an archivist and lives in New York City with her demon ninja vampire cat. She covers television, books, movies, anime, and conventions in the NYC area.

Twitter

Help support independent journalism. Subscribe to our Patreon.

Copyright © The Geekiary